Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord... Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. (Ephesians 5:22-25)
The passage begins earlier: submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Any reading that turns the text into a tool of control ignores the verse that opens it.
The pattern given to a husband is the cross: not demanding authority, but self-emptying surrender. To love as Christ loved is to choose the other person's good above your own comfort, even when nobody is watching.
Healthy relationships in this key have visible marks: decisions discussed, transparent finances, a shared calendar, and room to disagree without fear. Where there is fear, there is not the love described in Ephesians.
A question for couples: where have I been demanding instead of serving? Answer in writing, exchange answers, and talk without interrupting for two minutes each.